The Half-Mile Home
Every afternoon a pack of kids came down our street. Different ages, different houses, all of them walking home from school together.. I remember driving that short walk occasionally and thinking to myself, if my kids were ever in danger, they could stop at the Williamses house right here. Then rounding the corner and realizing, “they could stop at the Smith’s over there. Then on this other turn there were the Binghams or the Schmitts.”
On this half-mile route there were eight families we knew and trusted. And my kids knew they could go to any of those houses in an emergency. We watched each other’s kids and we watched out for each other. If one mom was sick, the others picked up the slack. When one had an emergency, we rallied to help where we could. We weren’t all best buddies, but we loved and cared about each other. I knew that in that neighborhood, I could go through anything and I would have support from my neighbors.
How does that kind of community get built? It doesn’t just happen. It happens little by little. It starts with parents making play dates because the kids want to hang out. It happens because we ask our neighbor to walk each morning with us. It’s an offer to grab groceries at the store for a sick neighbor. It means volunteering at the school and helping to improve the neighborhood. It involves someone not being afraid to reach out with a smile, a hello or a wave. One of my dearest friends was a young mom I met while we were out trick or treating with our children. To this day, I am so grateful she had the courage to say hello and strike up a conversation!
It starts small. It starts slow. It might be hard to do because anytime you put yourself out there it’s a risk. We must take that risk though. You know why? Because we are being divided. Into sides, into lists, into us and them. Because there is a whole machine running right now that needs us to stay strangers. Trying to make us enemies with each other. But, when a neighbor on that route home lost her baby, do you think any one of us cared about who she voted for?
If we make these efforts to reach out, we will know how to help our communities, neighbors and families. Don’t let someone else tell you who you can be friends with. Don’t let someone else dictate who you trust. Reach across the fence, red or blue, to shake the hand of a human. An ally. A friend. Communities that are united cannot be broken.
My kids had eight safe houses. An immigrant child in that same neighborhood today may have zero. Not because the neighbors are gone, but because nobody knows which doors are safe, and the parents are afraid to find out.
We can learn to look past individual differences to stand up against dehumanization, abuse and terror. We can look into the eyes of a neighbor and say, “You belong.” “I’ve got your back.” Let us treat others with dignity.
If we do the little things, then the big things come naturally. There are so many of us and it is possible to be friends with those who are within our sphere. So, reach out to a neighbor today and get their phone number. It’s small and low risk. Small still matters.
And remember, together, we are strong enough.
